Saturday, 24 November 2012

"you're emotionally unavailable? I'm emotionally damaged"

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!” –The Holiday

Emotionally damaged

So, everyone at some point in their life is bound to have been rejected, scorned or shunned, but at which point does the pain we suffer from these blows destroy us so much that we become one of the ‘emotionally damaged’?

It’s all very well and good to blame our emotional insecurities on others, but when we really examine the facts is it really their fault? Whilst other people may lay the foundations for our internal turmoil, we actively make things much worse for ourselves. We are in fact willingly destroying ourselves by re-thinking, over-thinking and analysing every little detail relating to relationships.  

And the reason is this: you're hoping you're wrong. And every time they do something that tells you they are no good, you ignore it. And every time they come through and surprise you, they win you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that they’re not for you.  And as such you begin the endless battle in your mind between what you know to be true and what you wish to be true, because we all buy into the bullshit Hollywood template for falling in love. 
Well stop. Because you will never be truly free from emotional hurt, but that isn't to say you will forever be an emotional write off, you will experience hurt, but how do you expect someone not to throw your baggage back in your face if you use it as a weapon against them also.

You’re only emotionally damaged for as long you make yourself emotionally unavailable. So for Christ’s sake learn to love yourself. You might not find your prince charming, but if you sure as hell won’t end up as the next Miss Havisham.

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